Living in Cebu

In early 2006 I will be moving to Cebu, Philippines with the entire family.

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Requests for Assistance

The wife did some over time on Saturday. I don’t like her working on the weekend which should be spent with the family. What really annoyed me was the reason she decided to work overtime.

Late last year I paid for cosmetic surgery for a 15 year old niece. She had a birth mark on her chin and large unsightly mole below her eye. Her appearance was further detracted by a severe scare above other eye she received in an accident. Life is hard enough in the Philippines without having those disadvantages. The idea of getting her cosmetic surgery was mine. The surgery was relatively inexpensive and will make a huge difference to her life.

She was meant to go back to the Province after the surgery but has instead moved in with another niece who now lives in Manila. This other niece has received more than her fair share of assistance from us including a 3 month visit to stay with us last year.

She was living in an apartment that we were paying for along with my wife’s brother and Mother but they have now returned to the province and she has gone out and found a job and rented her own apartment. She now asked my wife for assistance to pay the rent.

I know what she is like and that the money for the rent would have been wasted on some self indulgence. She is lazy, greedy and selfish (you may have guessed she is not my favorite niece).

My wife was not happy about the request. She is fed up with requests for assistance which is almost the only type of communication she receives these days. It was very different when her father was alive. She maintains that she never received or asked for help from others all her life.

She has decided to send money influenced by the fact that the 15 year old niece there. I said the 15 year old belongs back in the province at school. The wife says there is nothing for her there but I think there is even less for her in Manila. I would have helped with her schooling but I am not prepared to support her so she can stay in Manila.

So the wife decided to work the Saturday so that she can send some more money. I made the comment to the wife that I doubt that the older niece is making as much effort to get out of her problem as she is in helping her to get out.

When we move to the Philippines we will be that much more accessible to the family and their requests for help. We will need some good strategies to manage this.

Posted: Sunday 29th May 2005, 11:45 AM