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Driving in Cebu - How to Survive the Drive
You will have noticed the promotion for the Philippine Dreams book above. I purchased an early version of this book last year and have been receiving a free newsletter ever since. I have been filing these away with the intention of reading them later.
I knew they are packed with excellent information and more than complimented the fantastic Philippine Dreams e-book. Not only do you get a monthly newsletter but you also get access to the message board where you can discuss all things related to moving, living, and working in the Philippines.
I have recently started posting on that message board and have just downloaded the June Newsletter and read it. Now I can not wait to go back over all the issues I have not read.
In the June issue there are 10 articles and I have decided to reproduce one of them here so that you can appreciate the added value you get when purchasing the Philippine Dreams e-book. I have selected the second article titled Survive the Drive! - Expect Carnage, Chaos, Idiocy, Stupidity and More! which is about driving in Cebu where the author Perry Gamsby currently lives.
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Survive the Drive! - Expect Carnage, Chaos, Idiocy, Stupidity and More!
Driving on the roads of the Philippines is an adventure. There are some places where there is even more chaos and anarchy than others, and Cebu is one of them. Manila does have a higher volume of traffic, but Cebu has more idiots.
First of all, remember that if you come here and wish to drive, then your home license is good for 90 days from the day you arrive, not the day you buy your car or start driving. After that you need to get a local license. Oh, your motoring association issued you with an International license? Big deal, not worth a plugged 5 centimo piece (and they already have a hole in the middle!) Nothing more than an obsolete myth and a way for motoring associations to make money. So what if you IDL is valid for a year, it doesn’t count here, ok na lang?
If you want to get a local license, go to the LTO, Land Transport Office. The details and fees are listed on their website, http://www.gov.ph/faqs/driverslicense.asp There is even a list of offences that makes amusing reading. Nobody polices them! The few that are policed by the CITOM traffic cops are there to raise revenue for the city. The Cebu CITOM are particularly useless except in enforcing petty little personal gripes from their boss, the Mayor, also head of the traffic management mob. He picks on drivers from Talisay because he has personal issues with the Mayor and Congressman of that city. Petty, but indicative of the Filipino mentality. Watch out before meal times as they will “enforce” a law to get some dinner money!
But back to driving on the roads. In Manila the MMDA, or Metro Manila Development Authority has tried to improve the road chaos and have done some good things. Some of their measures have been lampooned, such as the wet sheet held from a truck that will slap the faces of any who break the law and jaywalk outside the pedestrian barriers. There was major anger over that but the simple message was; obey the law and you won’t be insulted! The director of the MMDA himself has said how they need to use childish methods to deal with the childish nature of the Filipino when it comes to obeying (or not) the law. Many Filipino commentators agree there is no need for new laws, just enforce the ones they already have.
Like the seatbelt law, passed in 1998 and ignored ever since, by citizen, cop and government official alike. I remember years ago an Australian Prime Minister was caught on camera being driven away and he hadn’t put on his seat belt at that time. He had to give a major apology on TV and even suggest the Police issue him with an infringement notice etc. Can you imagine that happening here? You can? You haven’t been here before, have you? Most cars here don’t even have belts in the back and the front ones don’t work. Mine don’t and I can’t get anyone to fix them. If I could be bothered to replace them I would and there is no excuse why I haven’t other than I have become as laissez fair as the rest of the people here. (I can’t believe my spellchecker didn’t pick up on laissez fair! You mean I spelt it right?)
As a former Military Police Investigator with over 100 traffic investigations (and a dozen of them fatal accidents) to my experience I should know better. Regardless of the law, it is the smart thing to do. However, since I am about to sell the car, why suffer the expense of fitting new belts the next owner and his passengers won’t bother to wear anyway? Conscience? Mine is clear. In this country you makes your choices and takes your chances, just like everybody else!
So don’t be surprised if nobody follows the road rules here. Lane markings are a way to expend the paint allowance of the Highways Department, or part of it as the majority allocated is skimmed off but some has to be spent on lane markings to get the allowance again next year. Most of the roads in this town don’t have lane markings and those that have are largely ignored. Filipinos hate to be wrong or make wrong decisions. Not because of the consequences of making a mistake but purely so as to avoid the ridicule and teasing of others. So they squat over the lane line and take up two lanes. If the left one stops they can continue in the right one and vice versa. That way they can’t be accused of making the wrong lane decision and being stopped while the other lane keeps going.
Not only that but it means you get more for your money than others, you get two lanes to their one. Screw them, you don’t know them, you owe them nothing, you don’t have utang with them, do as you please. For once in your usually powerless life you have some power to irritate others. Use it! Unless you are rich, then your giant, black Expedition can run over the lesser mortals in their inferior cars. You is da man!
When driving, constantly weave from lane to lane, just as your ancestors did in their bancas when they sailed here from Malaysia. If you are a jeepney driver it is your duty to hog the outside lane trolling for passengers two lanes to your right, then cut across those lanes without warning and prop in the middle of the two right side lanes so you block two lanes instead of one. Then your passengers can risk their lives getting to the kerb past the kamikaze motorcyclist screaming up the inside lane you left for them. Ignore the horns of all who you just carved up. They don’t have the flash and style to drive a jeepney.
Courtesy doesn’t work here, it is not catching, it is considered a weakness. As are any vehicles costing less than yours considered unworthy of the rule of law. You are richer than he is, you rule. Filipino Law 101.
If you wish to turn across traffic, just do it. If you want to turn into a driveway, just do it. If you are reversing out of a parking spot into heavy traffic, just do it. But make sure your standby Dong is banging the boot (trunk) of your car to scare the other drivers away. Of course they obey the signals of a Dong making a peso helping someone who can’t drive for quids enter the traffic. If, like me, you ignore the standbys and virtually drive over them, don’t worry. They are fleet of foot enough to get out of your way.
Beware of any vehicle going slower than light speed. It will either be an “owner jeep” (an old term for a non-military, civilian owned jeep and now referring to those low slung home made jeeps that never go over 40km/h) or driven by a female. Female Filipino drivers are more timid and cautious than their bitch sisters back home, trying to make up for their lack of penis by driving more aggressively than the dumbest macho teenage jock on ‘roids. Filipinas will be so cautious they are a danger unto themselves and all else on the road. The same applies to Honda drivers, male or female. For some reason new Hondas are always driven at no more than 40km/h at their top speed yet they take up far more of the road than you would think they should.
These are just a few hints for survival on city roads, rural driving is another thing altogether. I intend to collaborate with Jim Sibbick of Cebu Tours and make an instructional video on driving here in Cebu. Jim does all a great service with his videos of various destinations and everyday scenes here, so check his work out over at www.cebutours.com and keep posted for the Cebu Drive to Survive video. It will scare the life out of you!
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The above article written by Perry Gamsby and reproduced with permission from his monthly Newsletter distributed to people that have purchased his e-book Philippine Dreams.
This is only one of 10 articles in the June issue of the newsletter. You get this monthly newsletter along with membership to the Philippine Dreams Forums when you purchase Philippine Dreams for only $29.97. This is amazingly cheap for what you get.
Posted: Sunday 12th June 2005, 8:02 PM
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